It seems like we're arguing a lot more lately. I don't know if it's from being stuck indoors all day or just from being around each other too much in general, but either way we've been bickering about everything. Everything! Nothing is off limits when it comes to arguing. "Don't talk to me like that!" "Stop hogging the bathroom just to play on your laptop while sitting on the toilet!" "Do the laundry instead of piling it up on the floor!" "You're addicted to video games!" Blahblahblah. It never ends. As soon as I've gotten close enough to a person to start telling them secrets I'll also open the door to complaining and whining. I have this notion that people know better and should act accordingly when around me. Stop doing stupid stuff around me and I'll stop complaining, at least that's what I think but it never turns out that way. You could be the perfect person and I'd still complain about how perfect you think you are. Why is it so easy to be negative? As humans are we wired that way?
In addition to the complaining, I've also been more moody. I've been crying at the drop of a hat, which doesn't mix well with the constant arguing. I know that it's not the people I'm around... I'm starting to think that I'm going crazy. Maybe it's time to switch my birth control, or install sun lamps in my bedroom.
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Saturday, December 18, 2010
Dear Mr. President
While I am very grateful for all the government has done for my family, I have a few bones to pick with the lack of efficiency in the Veteran's Affair's educational assistance programs.
My father is a disabled veteran and was medically discharged from the army before I was born. He is unable to work because of his disability and has received monetary benefits from the government. These benefits have been my family's only source of income for my entire life and I am very appreciative of how much the government has taken care of my father. As a result of my father's disability I have been entitled to receive Chapter 35 benefits, however the last few months have been a total nightmare. I have become accustomed to using the Chapter 35 benefits as my only source of income, which was perhaps my first mistake, and as of lately the VA has been withholding money for one made up excuse or another, which has left me without money for rent and bills. I was sent a letter a few weeks ago stating that I was overpaid on a check that I hadn't even received, which turned out to be a computer error on their part. Their whole system is extremely outdated and it takes weeks for paperwork to process. Claims have to be filed by hand. And their telephone representatives have no idea what's going on. I have a friend that receives Post 9/11 GI Bill benefits and his money is always on time, which makes me feel like the government doesn't care as much for dependents of disabled veterans. Why not just get money from my parents if I'm still their dependent, you may ask. Well for one I no longer live with them. And they have done so much for me already that I feel like it's insulting to keep asking for money. Why not just get a job? I'm going to be very honest here, I do not want to work as a burger-flipper for a fast food joint and those are the only type of jobs available in this town. It's not that I look down on those types of jobs, but I love fast food and I don't want to lose my love for fast food as a result of working in the industry. I might as well just get a job as a stripper. I have a feeling that I'd get paid twice as much as I do with the Chapter 35 benefits.
My father is a disabled veteran and was medically discharged from the army before I was born. He is unable to work because of his disability and has received monetary benefits from the government. These benefits have been my family's only source of income for my entire life and I am very appreciative of how much the government has taken care of my father. As a result of my father's disability I have been entitled to receive Chapter 35 benefits, however the last few months have been a total nightmare. I have become accustomed to using the Chapter 35 benefits as my only source of income, which was perhaps my first mistake, and as of lately the VA has been withholding money for one made up excuse or another, which has left me without money for rent and bills. I was sent a letter a few weeks ago stating that I was overpaid on a check that I hadn't even received, which turned out to be a computer error on their part. Their whole system is extremely outdated and it takes weeks for paperwork to process. Claims have to be filed by hand. And their telephone representatives have no idea what's going on. I have a friend that receives Post 9/11 GI Bill benefits and his money is always on time, which makes me feel like the government doesn't care as much for dependents of disabled veterans. Why not just get money from my parents if I'm still their dependent, you may ask. Well for one I no longer live with them. And they have done so much for me already that I feel like it's insulting to keep asking for money. Why not just get a job? I'm going to be very honest here, I do not want to work as a burger-flipper for a fast food joint and those are the only type of jobs available in this town. It's not that I look down on those types of jobs, but I love fast food and I don't want to lose my love for fast food as a result of working in the industry. I might as well just get a job as a stripper. I have a feeling that I'd get paid twice as much as I do with the Chapter 35 benefits.
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Un-Merry Christmas
I suppose it isn't appropriate to discuss exactly how poor you are. And I know that there are people in worse situations, but I never imagined my life like this.
Let me start off by introducing you to my life. I'm a young woman in her early twenties and I'm living in a 3-room apartment with two males and only one full bathroom. Only one of us has an actual job, but he is paid so little that he can barely pay his part of the rent and utilities. My other roommate and I are full-time students that receive financial aid from the government because our fathers were in the military, but let me stress that the "aid" barely aids us at all. Every month brings a slew of financial stresses on us as we are struggling to pay our bills and eat. We live in a town that lacks positions in the job market, well this town pretty much lacks in everything, but we are unable to move to some place better and more economically efficient. We are trapped. We survive off of hot dogs, spam, ramen and cheap bread. Our cats have a more nutritious diet than we do. Sometimes I wake up in the night wondering if I should buy food or pay for the electricity bill and I just can't decide which is more important: to eat real food or to have lights and heat. Honestly, I'm very lucky to still have the internet at this point. I'm sure Time Warner is going to shut it off as soon as they realize that I can't pay their outrageous bill. I can't pay ANY of my bills. Not my electricity, internet, cable, or student loan bill. I have never felt so much stress over money. I really regret buying my roommates their Christmas presents, even though they were small, mediocre presents at best. But isn't this what Christmas is all about? Being in debt up to your ears because you just wanted to see the people you love be happy? I am left with the unhappy realization that I did not prioritize my money correctly this month. I should not have cared about damn Christmas and yet I am begging Santa Claus for a Christmas present of paid bills and food to eat.
Let me start off by introducing you to my life. I'm a young woman in her early twenties and I'm living in a 3-room apartment with two males and only one full bathroom. Only one of us has an actual job, but he is paid so little that he can barely pay his part of the rent and utilities. My other roommate and I are full-time students that receive financial aid from the government because our fathers were in the military, but let me stress that the "aid" barely aids us at all. Every month brings a slew of financial stresses on us as we are struggling to pay our bills and eat. We live in a town that lacks positions in the job market, well this town pretty much lacks in everything, but we are unable to move to some place better and more economically efficient. We are trapped. We survive off of hot dogs, spam, ramen and cheap bread. Our cats have a more nutritious diet than we do. Sometimes I wake up in the night wondering if I should buy food or pay for the electricity bill and I just can't decide which is more important: to eat real food or to have lights and heat. Honestly, I'm very lucky to still have the internet at this point. I'm sure Time Warner is going to shut it off as soon as they realize that I can't pay their outrageous bill. I can't pay ANY of my bills. Not my electricity, internet, cable, or student loan bill. I have never felt so much stress over money. I really regret buying my roommates their Christmas presents, even though they were small, mediocre presents at best. But isn't this what Christmas is all about? Being in debt up to your ears because you just wanted to see the people you love be happy? I am left with the unhappy realization that I did not prioritize my money correctly this month. I should not have cared about damn Christmas and yet I am begging Santa Claus for a Christmas present of paid bills and food to eat.
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